Setting Goals for Cupid is a Huge Mistake

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I have a friend that’s going through a goal-setting phase of her life. Everything is getting planned out and there’s a laundry list of things she wants to accomplish and I have no doubt she’ll achieve them all. The discussion went on, however, to including the “goal” of establishing a lasting relationship. I heard the sound of a scratching record in my head. Sorry, but falling in love simply isn’t a goal you can set. However, you can do everything in your power to help it along.

Be Open
Explore new interests, go to new places and consider interacting with different types of people. The more open you are to experiencing new things and new people, the greater the likelihood that you’ll meet someone.

Be Confident
You’re the best version of you out there. You’re unique, you have gifts and talents that no one else has and that makes you special. The right person will see your best so you can be confident in your being.

Be Patient
The greatest danger of setting a relationship goal is the probability of getting discouraged if you don’t meet some arbitrary deadline you’ve set for yourself. “If I don’t have a boy/girl friend by New Year’s Eve, I give up!” Even worse, you might find yourself jumping into a relationship that isn’t right just for the sake of saying your in a relationship.

Be Realistic
In addition to a timeline goal, you might have a list of demands your partner needs to fulfill before you’ll consider moving forward. You can be picky but be realistic too. If you can’t think of at least one person in your direct social circle or someone you’ve met recently that meets your criteria, look at the list again. If you’re looking for a wealthy executive but you only associate with young artists, that connection may never happen.

Be Yourself
Most important, make sure you’re living a genuine and honest life. If you’re acting like someone you’re not just to attract someone, it’s not going to last. We all want someone that will accept us for who we are and you can’t find that person if you’re pretending to be someone you’re not.

Have you ever set a goal for Cupid? If so, how did it turn out for you?

Photo credit: ihave3kids / Foter / CC BY-NC-ND

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