You get what you look for…..

We tend to cloud our thoughts with perceptions of limited scope. Have you ever used one of those puzzles where something is printed in red and blue ink and, to see something hidden in the printing, you look through a red plastic film? Our perceptions are just like that. If we look at life through a single colored lens, we’re going to miss the whole picture.

If you think the world is full of people out to get you, that’s all you’ll see because that’s all you’re looking for. You’ll miss the fact that someone offered to help you with an assignment or complimented your choice in music. If you’re unhappy with your looks and are always finding flaws in the mirror, you’ll miss those striking eyes or beautiful skin. You belittle yourself because you’re not making progress at work and lose sight of the fact that you’re an incredible father and husband. We all have these lenses but the more we can learn to drop them, the more fulfilled lives we’ll lead.

We trap ourselves into these limited perceptions simply through habit. We can expand our perceptions by learning to question ourselves and testing whether we’re operating from true knowledge. Once simple technique is “relabeling.” When you find yourself using a limiting viewpoint, mentally label it as such and give yourself a new label. For example, if you’re looking in the mirror and noticing all of the wrinkles and thinking how old they make you look, stop and think “I’ve just labeled myself as ‘old.’ From now on, these wrinkles are called ‘wisdom.’ ” In a while, you’ll notice that the way you see the world will start to expand and your perceptions will become less negative and constrictive.

What labels do you incorrectly use for yourself and how can you create some new ones?

We each have our own inner critic or gremlin. I’ve even heard it called the “Itty Bitty Sh*tty Committee.” This is that voice (or the voices) you hear in your head telling you that you’re not good enough, smart enough, trim enough, rich enough, strong enough….to have the life you deserve to live. Some of its favorite words are “can’t,” “shouldn’t” or “should have” and “never.”

Most of us can probably name or point out our gremlin. It’s been with us so long that we’re very familiar with how it behaves. For example, I’ve named mine “Killjoy.” My gremlin loves to taunt me with an overly burdensome sense of responsibility…for everyone and everything. There’s no time for fun and play when there’s so much that needs to be done! My gremlin has a particularly good time needling me because it knows it is completely contradictory to a core value I hold and that’s the importance of being playful.

So, I wage war with my gremlin and “smite” it on a regular basis, right? Hardly! Our gremlins are very strong and they thrive on our energy. The more attention we give them, the stronger they fight back. Instead of fighting, the key is first acknowledgement then dismissal. You really hurt your gremlin when it knows it has been seen yet you’re strong enough to do your own thing. In his book, Taming Your Gremlin, Rick Carson tells us that

To be at choice from situation to situation and from moment to moment is vitally important in taming your gremlin.

One of the most common gremlins for anyone that used to be overweight is self doubt or fear; lacking confidence and always worrying about gaining weight back. The voice tells you, “You might have success now but you can’t sustain this.” or “You’ll never be able to relax in your new skin. You’ll always have to worry about every little thing you put in your mouth because you know you’ll mess up eventually.” When these really negative thoughts pop up, first recognize them for what they are; untruths being sustained by runaway perceptions. Next, remember, you always have choices. In whatever situation you find yourself, will you choose to listen to your inner critic or will you use information you know to be true? How did you lose that last pound, or ten or hundred pounds, in the first place? You know what your body needs to be healthy now. No gremlin can suddenly take the power of your knowing away from you. Ignore it and choose what’s right for you.

Be aware that your gremlin is pretty smart. As you get better at ignoring its voice, it will change and turn into something new trying to get your attention again. Stay wary and never let the bugger get the better of you.

Photo credit: practicalowl / Foter.com / CC BY-NC