Coaching is about using well-placed questions to draw out someones own wisdom to help them get from point A to point B. To help them get unstuck. Often, we ask questions that are so broad and undirected that it throws people off. This is actually done on purpose in the hope that it will help someone expand their thinking and consider options or choices that may be right in front of them. Often, putting the thought “out in the universe” can set actions in motion that would have remained untried.

Here’s a little self-coaching exercise you can try for yourself whenever you’re having some self-limiting thoughts. It uses one of the lightest and most powerful coaching questions. Let’s say you’re trying to make a really important decision. Maybe it’s around a relationship, career, or health. Your current thoughts or beliefs might be:

I could never ask that person on a date; they’re too attractive.
I couldn’t get that job; I’m not smart enough.
I can’t lose weight; I don’t have the willpower or the time.

With thoughts like these swirling around in your head it’s no wonder you’re stuck. Just stop and ask yourself “What if I could?”

Seriously ponder the question. Maybe even write out the answer to make it more concrete. What tends to happen is we set up a barrier for ourself (the “I can’t”) and then simply stop. We never try to see what’s on the other side. Creating a vision of where we want to go can often become compelling enough to knock that barrier down. Or at least give us some insight on how to climb it or go around.

So, what if you could meet the love of your life. get that job or create the healthy life you deserve? What would that look like?

Photo credit: | spoon | / Foter.com / CC BY